So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
