Girls should come with a carfax report
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
