Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
