Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize