My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
