Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Your cock deserves a montage
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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