There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
