Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize