I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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