i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
