Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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