So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
