So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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