3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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