I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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