So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
