i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
