I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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