if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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