I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This house was built for laser tag.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
