Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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