How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
