So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You pole danced in your parka.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
