that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
