marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
