think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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