Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
North Korea, Best Korea!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
