nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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