I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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