Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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