Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
