I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
