so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
