Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
