Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
being pregnant is like rehab
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
