Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
