is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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