yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
