is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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