So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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