Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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