So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
