Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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