why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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