he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
