Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize