There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
