Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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