You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize