Will you blow on my dice?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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