I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who died my cat blue again?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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