she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
