Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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