The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
