Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
