pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
