Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
