the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
