So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize