Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
