North Korea, Best Korea!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
